Part I

-After being turned into a haunt by Haunt1 and Haunt2, Benny had been having trouble adapting to his new life mostly on the part of drinking, because now that he had no guts all the drink fell from his body into his robes, soaking them:

-Benny: "Join*hic* ush, jo*hic*in ushersss.....jo*hic*, blasted, I can't take a drink being bonesh and cloth...*hic*, all my mead is spilled on me clothesh, *hic* I need to get shome shleep. Huh?, hellu there lass, wanna shleep with me???"

--Benny topples over a small figure in the shadows, Benny falls on top of the it and begins to kiss and fondle it until the shape emits a growl and belches out a green foul smelling gas:

-Benny: "Pheeewww!!!! your breath shtinks worst than my last meal!!!!"

--Benny is belched to unconsciousness by the burrick he was trying to hit on to. Meanwhile...

-Haunt1: "Now that I have my sword back I can hack at any intruder coming in...."

-Passing Haunt: "Flames around you, flames nothing but..*THUD*, UUGGGHHH!!!"

-Haunt1: "That should take care of you, now where was I???...oh yes my sword....umh....my sword???, where's my sword????"

--The loud resounding wails of an angry haunt are heard throughout the night all across the cathedral. Meanwhile a shadow nearby Haunt1 chuckles...

Part II

Sinister Shadow- chuckle chuckle chuckle...

Haunt 2- Now really old chap, be reasonable and stop buggering about in the shadows. Get out here and we can have a good, Hauntly joust to settle this matter.

A custard pie flies out of the shadows and strikes Haunt 2 in the skull.

Haunt 1- Brother! Thou art insulted! I shall avenge thee with iron and steel! Oh great Eye, aid us in this hour of need!

The Eye- Bugger off! I'm trying to sleep. Here, have a legion of zombies.

The Eye does its mystical power invokations, and in a few minutes every door in the Cathedral is heaving with hundreds of groaning zombies...

250 zombies- Grrgghghghgh!! Haaoooorrrurgh!

Sinister Shadow- Uh- Oh..

Zombie no. 98- Why do we Hunger? Frrrresh meat!

Other 249 zombies- Hang on! This isn't right! This bloke's got working arms, and he can still speak properly in normal events!

Speaking zombie- That's right! I can speak 'cos I'm a They Hunger zombie! And look at my moveable arms!

Benny- Bleeeeurgh!

Speaking Zombie- Urgh! You horrible Haunt! You vomited all down my nice bloodstained suit!

Benny- Shorry, Mr. *hic* Zombie. I *hic* jusht couldn't n't n't er...help it. Thatsh it! Culdn't help it! *hic*

Speaking Zombie- I'm melting! Melting!

As Speaking zombie melts and dies in horrible undead agony, the other 249 zombies mill around for a bit uncertainly...before leaving the Cathedral and starting a mass-undead Conga around the streets of the Old Quarter. They are soon joined by craymen, burricks, and even a flame spirit. The Cathedral is once again quiet, and two lonely figures are left alone in the Cathedral aisle...

Haunt 1- Well, brother. That was certainly a most interesting Act to be in, wouldn't you say?

Haunt 2- Certainly, fellow Haunt. It is indeed good to have our Cathedral back to normal peace again, though it was a bit short...

Haunt 1- I say, brother. How about a moonbathe in the Cloister garden outside St. Yora's?

Haunt 2- An excellent idea! I shall fetch the unholy water.

Haunt 1- Good then you can Join us! Join us NoooooWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwww...... in the Garden.