I decided that since I had a decent heap of spare cash in my pocket, I should treat Lytha to a good meal. I was sure she hadn't eaten well in quite some time, and I knew there wasn't much food at my place, so I stopped at a corner market and grabbed some goodies for us to much on. It was getting late. I hadn't meant to leave her alone so long. I was starting to feel guilty about goofing off with Sheam, even though we had a lot of fun doing it.

Turning the key in the lock of my door, it clicked unlocked. I was ready to invite Lytha to a good meal, but instead what I saw stripped off any good mood I had left.

"What the hell? What did you do to my house?" was all I could say, scream was more like it, as I dropped the bag of food on the table and slammed the door. It looked like the Hammers had come in looking for me, except that not every single piece of furniture was broken, or moved, just most of it and papers and junk was everywhere. My rage died down and turned into sympathy quickly when I spotted her. She was curled up in the corner with her knees brought up to her face, shaking and crying. Yelling at her wasn't helping at this point. She looked nothing short of psychotic, her clothes were in tatters, her red hair was looking pretty wild and her green eyes were red from not sleeping and crying. Hey, more green eyes. If staring could kill someone those green eyes would have killed me. She had some kind of breakdown and from the looks of it. I was probably responsible. I walked over slowly, took her hand and knelt down in front of her.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded slightly. It was a good sign. She was bleeding again, her right arm had opened up, and she looked like hell. Maybe I should have gotten her some health potion after all. Maybe Sheam would give me a flask on the house.

"You need to eat something so you can start to get better, can you walk to the couch?"

She nodded again and started to try to stand. She was too weak to be really mobile so I helped her to the couch, once I put it back where it was supposed to be.

"It's no wonder you're too weak to move, it must have drained you to destroy my house like this" I grinned, hoping the cheerfulness would get a response out of her, but it only seemed to confuse her. I helped her to the couch and set out the food. It wasn't much, just some chicken and some fresh veggies, but it was more then she's seen in days. Lytha just looked at it, strangely uninterested. Maybe she was still too mad at me to eat.

"At least eat a little. If you feel like eating a lot you can do that too."

She seemed to smile a little and grabbed a carrot. We ate in relative silence. She put down more than I thought she would, which was good. She broke the silence with something that caught me off guard.

"Ghost..."

***

I hoped that he had not felt the papers in my pocket when he had brought me to the couch. He seemed like he cared about me, but I was still not sure about his intentions. The childish voice tried to tell me that he had of course really bad motivations, but his next questions interrupted the shouting inside my head.

"It's no wonder you're too weak to move, it must have drained you to destroy my house like this," he said. I have no idea what he meant by that. He smiled widely at me, which only served to make me grow tense.

He offered some of the food for me. I tried not to look at it. I waited for a voice in my head to tell me that it was poisoned, or something ever more horrid, but the voice never came.

"At least eat a little. If you feel like eating a lot you can do that too."

I didn't want his food. I didn't trust him and I didn't trust his food. Fortunately, I suppose, the instinct for survival outweighs paranoia, and eventually I gave in to the extreme hunger I felt. I grabbed a carrot. It was the easiest to get into my mouth.

He began to eat the meat. It looked like it was some type of bird. Strange, it was already cooked when he got here. He must not be as poor as this shelter makes him seem to afford a service like that. I finished my carrot, and began to take other vegetables. He ate slowly, and wasn't looking at me. What was his name again? I couldn't remember. Somehow I felt it was important. What was it? "Ghost..." I suddenly whispered, remembering.

He looked up suddenly. "What?... How do you know my name?"

I was silent. I put down the piece of fruit I was eating, having lost my appetite

"Why were you in there?" he asked, after a pause.

I was not sure if this was not another trick of the Hammerites, to get more confessions out off me. I tried to change the subject of our conversation. "But why... I don't even know him."

"I'm as curious to why as you are. Maybe if I knew why you were in there we could figure it out."

This was surely only a trick. I refused to know anything. Of course I remembered my expedition to the hunting lodge very well, but I did not intend to confess more than they already knew. "I... I don't know why..."

But he insisted. "What was the last thing you were doing? That you remember?"

Telling him about my last expedition was definitely no good idea. But I heard myself already talk about it, and couldn't stop me from doing this. "I was in that lodge. In the woods, in the north... and then they came." The memory of the pain as the crossbow bolt had hit me in the shoulder and as they had kicked me stroke me. I tried to forget this, and made a fist. Before the voices could continue to shout at me, he asked the next question.

"Sounds like you were in the wrong place at the wrong time... or they followed you there. Was it a Hammer lodge?"

"No, it belongs to this rich lady. No Hammer lodge. But I - " I stopped. Telling him about my plans for the break into the Hammerite Temple would indeed be a very bad idea. My intentions while the burglary into the lodge had been simple: I needed gold for equipment. I wanted to pay them back what they had done to Thalia, while she was arrested. I had nursed her in the last month, and seeing her scared face every day had increased my hate against the Order of the Hammer to an insane high level. The revenge had still to be done. "Don't be silly and throw the chance for the revenge away through talking about it. Just shut up about this." That was my own language in the chaos inside my head.

He sat cross legged on the couch, and looked at me. The long pause seemed to have made him very curious. "But what?"

"Nothing" was the only answer that came into my mind. "Don't say anything! You are still not sure if he is no Hammer spy!" I looked nervously down to my hands. But once again my lips were faster than my mind. "I have no idea what the Hammers wanted there. It was just a lodge. Just a small tidy hunting lodge." Somwhat inside me seemed to trust him. He had a very friendly face.

"What were you doing there? Was it your lodge?"

"No. I live in Newmarket. At least I lived there. I doubt I can go back there now." I was sure that I had told them where I lived. The Hammerites would search me there in the first place. No chance to go home, now.

"Yes, the Hammers had a note of who you were... They will be looking for you. And probably for me, too."

For him, too? Another part of me decided that it wanted to trust him. I relaxed a little more. I tried to tell him more. "I fear I told them more than I wanted. And I can't remember what I told them. But definitely far too much." I hesitated a moment.

"Ok. You said you lived in Newmarket and that you can't go back... Do you have any family in the area?"

"Just as she - " We had spoken at the same time. I looked irritated up, and answered his question first. "No. I have no family any more."

"She who?" he asked.

"She. My sister. Thalia. But she is dead now."

Yes. Thalia was dead. She had died some days ago. Or weeks? Counting the time was difficult now. I had cared for her, after she had been released from the Hammerite prison. They had arrested her a few years ago, because they distrusted everything that they couldn't control easily. They could not control the criminals, and they could not control the telepaths. And that's what was wrong with Thalia. She was both.

We had a lot of fun with her telepathic abilities, when we were young. Yes, those were happy days, before we learned that this was not normal and that the others hated her for it. We stopped playing with it very soon, quickly, before we had figured out if I too could it, myself. I was sure that I could it not. I did not want to have that ability. It caused only pain, threat, and loneliness. I had seen it, when it happened to Thalia. And I was very good at denying possible facts. So, I was sure that I had absolutely no telepathic abilities.

I had tried to help her in the last month. The goal of my last few burglaries had been simply for her survival. I had failed. And she was dead. I had given her a burial, but that was far too little. So, I had developed my plan to pay it back to the Hammerites. I had already got myself some maps of the most important Hammerite temples, and I had spied around the places a little. The revenge had still to be done. Maybe I could stop the voices in my head in that way. And maybe I could stop my self hate that way. Trying to forget my feelings of guilt about my sister's death, I stared into the nothing.

"What did you do over in Newmarket?" his question got me back into reality.

"I -" I hesitated shortly, but remembered what I knew already about him. He was a thief, same as me. I continued. "I had a similar job as you, I think."

"It seems to be a popular job in these days. You're either a rich old bastard or trying to rob them," he said, laughing.

I smiled shortly. "Yes... the rich old bastards were my most preferred targets, indeed. They have too much, you know."

"Yes, I know. But I'm trying to change that all" he was still laughing.

"Popular job... indeed. But what else could you do? Working in the guild of seamstresses?" I tried to make a joke, myself. Something of me seemed to stand beside me and watched my relaxed face with anger, fear, and hate. But I managed another smile.

Then he said, still laughing: "I could be a Hammer guard... 'Thou there, stopeth thee thisith instantith!'. "

"What? And you trusted him?! "

"He Is a Hammer! As I told you! You never listen!"

The fear and mistrust was back, and I stared at him, frozen of fear.

"I'm sorry. It was inappropriate" he said, as he realized my gaze.

"He will bring you back to them" cried the childish voice, filled with pure fear.

"And You Would Deserve It. Of Course. But You Could Prevent It. You Know How? Attack Him. No Matter How. Attack Him! Get Out!"

"Shut up. Both of you! I want silence in my head! Give me time to think, damn it!"

I stared still at him. Probably very aggressive. "Are you one?"

"No... I don't like them any more than you do" he said, slowly. He seemed to be scared by the fact how aggressive the thought made me.

I tried to relax again. But I kept watching everything very attentive. He would never betray me.

"You probably don't remember, but several of them died on the way out of the prison. I'm sure they aren't too happy with me," he continued.

"I don't remember. There was this terrible numbness. And those voices -" I said, but stopped immediately when the voices shouted at me to stop telling him about them. I glanced nervously to him, but he seemed to be happy that I had broken my silence. He ignored the fact that I stopped in the middle of the sentence.

"I'm not surprised. You didn't even complain when you fell on the floor." He was much more relaxed, and started smiling, again.

I smiled shortly, myself. "Didn't I?" I felt tired after the dinner, and yawned behind my hands.

"No. You were a good escapee."

"Oh well. At least one good thing about me." I said.

After that, we went to bed. Despite my tiredness and despite the knowledge that I should really get more sleep now to feel better tomorrow, I couldn't grasp some sleep. I still heard the voices, and tried to make them silent. But it didn't work very well. My head hurt again. And additional to the ranting voices, I remembered more of the last days. I remembered that I had probably given the Hammerites the names of almost everyone I knew. I thought about it. I should eliminate the records of that. And I should eliminate the witnesses and the Inquisitor. I could not let them run around alive and arrest everyone, only because I had given the Hammers some suspicious circumstances about them. Not only that I owed them something, no, some of them were my friends. Friends were rare for me, but even I had one or two. I couldn't let happen what would come now.

I rolled myself on the left side, hoping to feel comfy in my usual sleeping position. I moaned as I felt the pain in my left side. I rolled myself on the back. The voices again, and the thoughts. I rolled myself on the other side.

After some hours, I had still not closed my eyes. But I had a raw plan for a possibly solution, for as soon as possible. I turned restless in the bed.

***

I lay his body in the shallow hole I had managed to scrape out of the hard, dry soil, crossing his arms over his chest and gently closing his eyes. Dirt from my fingers now marred his smooth skin. It seemed out of place somehow. Odd, considering I was about to cover him in the stuff. I watched him for a while, remembering our short time together. Then I scraped the dirt over him and lay a single white flower on his grave. Some would have said prayers at this point. Or asked their god why. I had no need of such things. You learn things quickly growing up on the streets. There were no gods, only yourself and the people around you. What you got from life you were either born to or you worked for it. When it was your time to die nothing would prevent it. Still, I felt the need to say something.

"Nature takes your body now as once it gave it to you. Your life did bud grow and come to flower. Now it will fall to the ground to merge with earth and sprout new growth."

I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to remember the words he had taught me. "When the bud forms anew you will find new places, see new faces and experience new things. May fate smile fondly on your transition."

I stood and watched the sunset as I remembered the time when he had told me of his belief. There were no gods involved here, no strange otherworldly beings with unknown intent, just nature taking its course as it did with all life. I smiled as I thought that. There weren't many things we had shared but such a belief had been one of them. "Sleep well," I whispered as I turned for the city once more.

***

Personal log, 9.12

Okay, so they found Private Ranthos stuck up in a tree today. The poor sap went out scouting, and next thing we knew, the guy was holding on for dear life on a small branch on a large oak, screaming like a banshee. How did they get him down? Chop the tree, of course! Poor fella, that must have hurt. He'll be limping for quite some time. Anyway, he said a dark spirit leapt out of the tree, grabbed him, flew up and dropped him. If the branch had not been there, splat for sure! After the tree came down, they burned it. Typical.

Well, the morons thought it was a tree spirits. I've got news for them. If it was a tree spirit, then it would have suffocated him. Yeah, all those tangle vines would have grabbed onto his little masnie flesh and crushed his rib-cage. No, it picked it up and dropped him, the tree wasn't the suspect. It's a beastie. Wouldn't be surprised if it were the same beastie, or beasties, that were responsible for the tree falling on the bulldozer, or the missing hammers. Must be a mongbat. Damn, I hate mongbats. I used to kill them for sport. Not even for sport, just because I hated them so much. I mean, hell, if some wacked out woodsie lord was going to create a beastie, why the hell did he have to combine a monkey and a bat? As if a monkey and a rat were not nasty enough. I swear to MAHK those things are messed up.

We have been at this for Three days. THREE DAYS. Arge, I want to scream. These pinheads could have been to the damn lodge, torn the place down, and been home by now, without their infernal machines! Damn damn damnit damn dammmmmnnniii!tttt!!!! *sighs*

Heh, ok, now I feel better. I always hated camping. I mean, I love the wilderness, it's a great place to visit, but I DO NOT want to live here! It's wet, hot, the insects are in season, and worst of all, I have to take my cloak off to be comfortable!! *whines* Damnitallagain!!

Okay, out with it Dan, why are you really so pissed off? No one is reading your log but you, out with it. Okay. Last Night, when I spoke to Kristen Marie, in my dream, she warned me that she sensed much danger ahead. She's never wrong about these things. She also said that in the direction I'm heading, the force of evil is so strong that her projection would not be able to reach me. I fear that tonight I she may not be able to contact me.

Okay, Richen has started to snore, so I may as well try and get some sleep. Oh look, left over dinner. Hmm.. someone forgot to salt the fries...

End Day's entry.